The Source of Values

Well, guess I spoke too soon in my last post... Clemson lost. End of discussion. Anyway, if you haven't done so already, I'd recommend reading the post below this before reading this one. Previously, I rambled on a bit about values. Perhaps a more interesting topic is the source of values. This is something that I've had discussions with friends on before and there's just no way I can piece together all my thoughts on the topic in one sitting, so perhaps I'll revisit the topic another time.

So where do values come from? When I refer to values here, I'm thinking about the values that people live by. Are people born with values or do they learn them? The last time I debated this topic, I leaned towards the idea that people are born with a very basic value set. In other words, when someone is born, do they have a basic idea of right and wrong? This is a debate that is almost impossible to settle! To settle this debate, one would have to take a human being at birth and place them in solitude for a few years until they were old enough to make conscious moral (or immoral) choices. Even then, you would have to take into account the potential effects of such an extended period of solitary confinement. After further thought, I think that more than likely people are NOT born with any sort of value set. HOWEVER.... I do believe that people instinctively have a desire to do what is "good" over what is "evil." Human beings in my opinion must be taught values. What we are born with , I believe, is the desire to do what we are taught is right in the absence of any motivating factors. If there is no benefit to doing what is "wrong" over what is "right", I believe that people will always do what is "right". The problem is, when is this ever the case? Evil exists for a reason, and that reason is because being evil is easier than being good. In light of this, the question we should be concerned about at this point is not whether people are born with values or whether they learn values... but HOW they learn values.

Values are primarily learned through two different perspectives: the rule of law and religion. Nearly everyone learns values through the rule of law, whether it be the sole method of instruction or in addition to religion. This method says "If you [fill in the blank] then [fill in the blank] will be the consequence." If you steal you will go to jail. If you eat a cookie before dinner you will get a spanking. If you cheat on a test you will get an F. This method is necessary, but inadequate by itself. This method encourages individuals to avoid poor behavior unless they know they can't get caught. For some people, this is all they ever need because they have a deep fear of what would happen in the remote chance they got caught. Some people would just never take the chance. While this still results in good behavior, that person's value system is fairly shallow.

Religious values are taught through a variety of methods. Many forms of religious teachings follow the same approach as the rule of law, focusing on fear. The difference here is that many people who would take chances without religious values are now much more hesitant because they believe/know that there is a higher being "watching" them and that there are eternal consequences for evil deeds. Still, a shallow value system in my opinion, but a more solid one. Other religious values are taught through the form of love. Instead of teaching what to avoid, this method teaches "Do [insert action] out of love for others (or for some kind of eternal benefit). This creates a much deeper value system I believe because it instills in people the desire to do good just for the sake of doing good. Even in the absence of consequences for negative actions, people with this type of upbringing are more likely to "do the right thing." However, how values are taught is not everything. Also very important is how values are reinforced.

Many of you may be thinking that I'm implying that people who aren't religious can't have deep, solid value sets. Absolutely false. I believe that if people learn values through a religion rather than through other sources, they're off to a better start. However, proper reinforcement can easily make up lost ground. I think that values can be reinforced both by logic and by experience. I've come to the realization that even religion alone often cannot prepare a person for real world situations. As I said in my previous blog, anyone can live in a cave for eternity and follow the Ten Commandments. Something greater is needed to equip a large proportion of human beings for real world situations.

Logic is a great value reinforcement tool. Logic is what separates human beings from animals. Teaching someone by the 'rule of law' method without logical reinforcement is no different from training a dog. What an insult to the intelligence of an individual! Animals often disobey rules knowingly when they know they aren't being observed. People are no different. When someone is instilled with a value set, they must be taught not only the consequences of negative behavior, but the consequences of positive behavior as well! People must understand how the consequences of their actions can affect others and how it can affect them in the long term.

Experience is another great reinforcement tool. In fact, it often is the only guaranteed method. Sure, some people take their values seriously and would not compromise those values under any circumstances. However, I think a lack of experience (and/or logic in many cases) is a primary reason that we find people like "Person A" in my previous blog... people that share our value systems but can't be trusted to necessarily stick to those values. Unfortunately, we can't ever know for sure how we will react to a situation until we have been there. We can't say we would never steal until we have been in a situation where we felt the need to steal. We can never say we would never cheat on a significant other until we have had to face temptation. We are not fully equipped to fight temptations such as those until we've been there and we know what feelings we have to be able to conquer and we fully understand the potential consequences of our actions because we've had to think about them first-hand. Think about it as a vaccine... our bodies are not equipped to fight many diseases until it is exposed to them... through vaccines. Generally, trace amounts of virus in a vaccine do not get us sick, but we're exposed to them and our immune system has an opportunity to prepare.

I think many people are too sheltered. Many parents keep kids in private school or home school their children to avoid sending them to public schools. Some people avoid being around alcohol because they don't want to get drunk. There are countless other examples. Sure, sometimes there are valid reasons to avoid public school. Some public schools are despicable and genuinely dangerous. However, most public schools are not. So your child avoids the temptations found in public schools and grows up with perfect behavior. What happens when they graduate and get into the "real world?" They are often not as well equipped to handle the stresses and temptations that you find in everyday life because they were sheltered growing up. Who is the stronger person, the person who goes to bars and drinks but always avoids the "wrong" decisions or the person who avoids alcohol altogether but would succumb to poor decisions if they did happen to drink? Sure, some people avoid situations with alcohol not out of fear, but simply lack of interest. This statement does not apply to those people.

Lastly, but in a sense similar to the topic of experience, I believe that people should be deeply entrenched in the complex social structure that human beings have developed to ensure proper behavior. The more social connections an individual has, the higher the consequences of inappropriate behavior. Someone with only a few friends has much less to lose from abandoning their values then someone with a large group of friends. Quiet individuals with few active friend connections are the ones that have the highest likelihood of being dangerous, even those that appear perfectly safe and moral on the outside.

I've started to cover a host of topics that would probably be more appropriate covered in multiple other posts, and hopefully this isn't too much to ponder in one sitting, but let me try to wrap this up. I believe human beings have a basic desire to do what is right, but they are not born with a knowledge of right and wrong. They must be taught their moral standards, always through the 'rule of law' but preferably in combination with a religious upbringing to increase the desire to follow those values. These values must then be reinforced through both logic and experience. A lack of reinforcement could lead to the appearance of strong values, but in reality an individual who in the face of temptation in new circumstances fails to live up to their alleged standards, especially in the absence of a well-connected social structure.

Values

Wow, I got off to a great running start by posting blogs for three consecutive days after starting this thing! So much for that... it's hard to find time to sit down and write one of these things while trying to juggle work and an attempt at a personal life. Anyway, let's talk about values. No, I'm not referring to the fact that Harris Teeter is currently advertising buy 2 get 3 free cans of tuna. Nor am I referring to the fact that Fox and the Hound serves half-price bottles of wine on Wednesdays (local business owners, feel free to contact me for some low-cost sales pitches). Granted, I love value items, but the other day I chose a double cheeseburger over the cheaper McDouble and that extra slice of cheese was worth every additional penny... no, I'm talking about a more important form of values.

A few weeks ago I was driving home from work and I realized how refreshing it is to know people who have solid values. Yes, even more refreshing than [insert product advertising here]. I've always gravitated towards people who have similar values to me... it's natural and I think most people do the same thing, whether it be a conscious or unconscious decision. I've realized that while a person's set of values is extremely important, what is probably more important is how strongly that person clings to those values. Obviously this statement can't be true 100% of the time; don't post any comments asking me whether I'd rather be friends with someone who follows the teachings of Jesus 75% of the time or someone who follows... I don't know, Satan, 100% of the time. Think about it though, imagine person A and person B. Person A believes everything you do, you have the exact same values and beliefs, at least on paper. You think person B is a pretty decent human being, but you don't see eye to eye on some details. Person A is weaker, and when their values are seriously tested, they falter. Person B is probably the most stubborn person you've ever met when it comes to what they believe is right. No situation compromises their integrity. Whom do you trust? I know what my answer would be.

I know a few people who are, for lack of a better description, stubborn as hell. Sometimes it's a pretty frustrating trait, especially when it carries over into decisions such as what kind of food to eat. In the end though, it can be a bit refreshing. I admire these people for a lot of reasons... except for when I don't get the food I want.... but deep down most of us are conscious of our weaknesses and it's just encouraging to know people who convey such strength sometimes. These people know who they are and what they want/value in life and they stick to it. On the other hand, when you discover that people who give the appearance of having strong values really can't stick to them under pressure, you feel a sense of disappointment in not only them but in humanity. An individual's set of values cannot be (though it often is) measured in terms of the belief system they claim to have or the religion they claim to follow. Any person on earth can sit in a cave for eternity and successfully follow the Ten Commandments. A person's values can only truly be measured by how well they fit into and positively affect the complex social structure that human beings have created and their reactions to those events that only other human beings can create. A person whose values have not been tested cannot necessarily be trusted on certain things any more than a person with no values at all.

This realization naturally led me to consider the source of values, something I'll address in my next blog. Clemson's coming out strong against Virginia Tech so I'm going to have to concentrate on that instead.

The Climb

You know, I have really no clue what influenced me to write the phrase below. I was sitting here one afternoon about a month ago and I found myself in a reflective mood. I realized that too often, people make rash short-term decisions without thinking about the future. Too often, people think they know what they want in life or think they know everything when in reality they have no idea what they want and their perception of the world is way too narrow.Too often, people settle for what they have rather than pushing themselves to achieve their best. I think that everything happens for a reason and rarely will we know what that reason is until after the fact. Not until we've reached the end of life's journey will we be able to look back with near-certainty and determine why an event happened or why someone came into our life. Rock climbing seemed like a good analogy (something I rarely do, but I do enjoy)... specifically, outdoor rock climbing. I don't think this is what I would consider a final version, and someday I'd like to touch it up, but here it is:

Fate and life, I believe.... is like climbing the side of a mountain. Everytime we hoist ourselves on the next rock, we're convinced that we can see everything in life for what it is because we're one rock higher than we were before. We think that the spot we are standing on is where we're meant to be. When we make it to stable, flat rocks we stand our ground and think 'this must be where I should be for I could stand here forever, why bother with the jagged, unstable rocks ahead of me?' These rocks can be people, places, or many other things...but you see, we're not meant to stand still. As human beings, we're meant to keep climbing, to keep looking ahead. You see, those rocks are the means to an end and not the end in themselves. We never know why we choose the rocks that we choose until we get to the top. It's not until then that we know what our fate is. So stop worrying about what's at the top or why you're on any specific rock, you'll find out soon enough. Life is about the climb.

The Secret to Happiness

The next few blogs of mine are going to be more serious in nature. Knowing me, a lot of them will be. Part of the reason I decided to start this blog was because I had some thoughts that came to me and I wanted a place to write them down. I may have something that seems profound, at least to me, pop in my head every day for a week. Other times, I may go a whole week where the most profound thing that goes through my brain has something to do with whether I'd rather have blue cheese or ranch with my chicken wings (80% of the time I'll say ranch). Better yet, the never-ending battle between regular soy sauce and low-sodium soy sauce when I'm eating sushi. In this epic battle between health vs. slightly minor taste improvement, regular soy sauce is currently winning with a record of something like 42-3. Wow, that's worse than Clemson's historic domination over South Carolina in football...

Anyway, I wrote the quote below in September 2008 for someone who was very close to me at the time. I felt that she wasn't taking her own happiness into consideration like she should and I felt the desire to write her something that she could look at and think about whenever she wasn't sure she was making the right decisions. I think it helped, and I'd like to post it here in case anyone else sees any substance in it:

Do all that you can to enrich your soul and maintain your personal faith and deepest beliefs.

Pursue your own happiness and that which you want in life above all else on this earth,
but never to the detriment of your soul.

Always help those in need to the best of your ability,
but never to the detriment of yourself.

This, I believe, is the secret to happiness.

Introduction

Why "The Yellow Brick Roadway?" You see, that's a great question. When I decided to create a blog, I had no idea that a blog had to have a title.. but it makes sense doesn't it? I couldn't just call it "Chaise's Blog".... would you ever bookmark this site if I gave it such a dull name? Don't flatter me, you wouldn't. I thought about something related to my nickname from college, 'Cheez'... but who would take a blog called 'Cheez' seriously? My mom. That's about it. So... I decided on The Yellow Brick Road initially... but some jerk beat me to the name... imagine that, somebody else on this site has seen The Wizard of Oz. I made the slight addition of 'way' to the end ('way' to go Chaise!).

Again you ask, 'Awesome story Chaise, but why The Yellow Brick Roadway?' Alright, I'd like to every once in awhile put things on here that are worth reading so that it's worth following for at least a few people. Follow my blog. Follow the Yellow Brick Roadway. Follow follow follow follow follow the Yellow Brick Road[way] (to the tune of follow the yellow brick road)! Also, I always imagined the yellow brick road to be made of gold.. or at least a combination of gold and some other substance painted to resemble gold. Theoretically I'll say a few things on here with some value, just like gold.

Corny? Absolutely...but you won't forget it.